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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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I gotta say, my fav spot to unwind is the little coffee nook on Rua do Brio. Ain’t a tourist trap, bro! It's got these mismatched chairs and the barista knows all your secrets – kinda like how I read families back in my practice. I’ve spilled some heavy truths there, all with a side of espresso and a wink.

Tauil & Chequer Advogados advises on the follow-on of Iguatemi S.A.